I have this inherent love/hate relationship with blogging, like I do with most things. I love it for a while and then I fall off. Then come back and talk about how I won’t do it again…..until I do it again. The cycle continues several times, as it has done many times before and yet again, i’m brought back full circle, hungry for the same thing that I need every single time, my VOICE.
Recently, I lost a great friend and fellow blogger who extended her voice to thousands in hopes that she could spread her love for self on to others – which she did and was admired for it. I then watched on, after her passing, as her name was dragged through blogs, websites and YouTube channels while nay-Sayers created stories of their own about who she was. None of it being true. It got to the point where I was unable to read an article about her, in fear that it would be another terrible story filled with unsubstantiated claims all in the name of their sites getting a few comments or likes to stay relevant.
Another great friend of mine, Beatrice, of HeavenlyGlow.net was also a friend to the young woman that I knew who passed. She created a beautiful post about her, and the experience of losing her and how it felt to see people latch on to her story and fill it with falsehoods about the reasons behind her passing the way that she did. That moment made me realize the importance of having a voice and the gift of being able to blog and have it be heard.
Yeah, I could have gone to twitter, but 140 characters could not contain everything that I felt. Facebook? Facebook is good, but you get lost in the sea of thousands of other peoples problems like, “What should I eat for dinner tonight” or “My boyfriend just cheated on me, I’m devastated, I loved him so much, how could he do this” or “my baby daddy aint sh…” Well, you get the point.
But a blog is free of all of that. It is a reflection of my feelings, my thoughts & my VOICE. The happiness, the pain, the tragedy, the excitement, the love, the hate, the ambition, the doubt, it’s a collection of EVERYTHING that I feel.
So, this time around, I will not make any promises. I will not say that I will never abandon it again, because it may happen. No matter what happens though, I know I will always find my way back to my voice.