The Panel – Round 2: “I’m involved with someone that’s involved with someone else”

Round 2: “I’ve been dating someone for a little over 3 months now and it’s getting serious but he is involved with someone else. I’ve fallen hard for this person and I don’t know what to do. Help!”

-Submited by Dazed and Confused

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“Mr. Always Right”

Fall the FUCK back. Who is it getting serious for, both of ya’ll or just you? Cause if it was serious for him, he would have left his girlfriend and just been single and dating you. Listen, if ya’ll just gon have fun, or fuck or whatever then it is what it is, but if you want more you need to make some space and see what happens. If a guy wants you, he’s gonna do what it takes. Honestly, you dont really wanna get him by takin him from his girl anyway, cause if you DO get him what’s gonna stop him from talking to another chick once ya’ll are together..Same way you get a nigga you’ll lose him. So make some space and see what happens.

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“The Georgia Peach”

“Move on! Easier said then done but your feelings count too. 3 months is not a long time at all . Someone else is bound to come along. In the meantime, get to know your wants and needs , so you can be better prepared.”

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“The Free Spirit”

Ohhhhh boy! Been there, done that and there’s a 98% chance that things won’t end well….for you! First things first, what indication has he given you that things are “pretty serious?” Has he introduced you to family? friends?  Have you two discussed a future? More than likely, it’s a  hard no. You’re giving him everything that he wants, without having to commit, so he’s not going to. My advice? If it’s been over 3 months and he’s still with her, he’s NOT leaving and in the 2% chance that he does, it won’t be worth the constant worry that he’s going to do the same thing he did to her, to you. You deserve better.tumblr_m78khwpYgW1qhjvu5o1_500

“The Bachelor”

Warning!!!!  Before you fall for someone make sure it’s mutual. If you know the person you’re dating is also involved with someone else then keep in mind you don’t have that person’s 100% full attention which means you may be the “side piece”. Always do your homework before getting  too deeply involved or you will get burned!!!!!!!

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“Unbothered and Unfiltered”

Umm y’all are not dating. It sounds like you’re a backup. First off I don’t know what your definition of dating is. Yes you can be dating multiple people but if you’re saying it’s gotten serious there shouldn’t be anybody else. Your best bet is to talk to him and tell him how you feel and see what he says. I feel like there’s more to this story then was given.

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“The Flower Child”

you should feel comfortable to ask the, “Where is this going?,” question. Clearly, if he’s still involved with someone else, he doesn’t know of your interest in being exclusive to one another. Don’t come in intense asking about short and long term goals for your relationship and no ultimatums! You like this guy, just take it easy. Tell him what you’re thinking and ask him the same. If your stars align, awesome. If not, maybe your focus can sway to another “friend” as well. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost interest in continuing to get to know him, but at least you know to keep things light. When a guy wants you, I mean really wants you, he’ll let you know. The best thing you can do is communicate your interest. Sort of, a ball is in his court kind of thing. If he decides to play, then you’ve beat the competition! If not, then draft yourself a few more players and let him sweat it out on the sidelines!

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“The Wild One”

-Took a different approach to the question and gave his perspective for if he was in that situation.

If I really cared about her I would give her an ultimatum. Either it’s me or it’s Him. Being a “side nigga” is cool only if you’re trying to have fun, but when your feelings get involved it’s a whole nother ball game. Triangles occur. Feelings get involved and people get hurt .

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“The Sour Patch”

First, you need to talk to that person to see if he/she wants you in their future. Believe me.. you can tell when a person is serious or playing games! If they hesitate or talk in circles… Hmmm, you better leave it alone! If that person takes you serious, make it known that you want a exclusive relationship. So no extras involved. Now,if you continue to date the non-committed person, beware of the title SIDE-CHICK!!! Yea that’s going to be your name! Good luck on your shenanigan endeavors! 🙂

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In a nutshell……chances are…..

 

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Submit your question to The Panel:

The Panel – Round 1: Is Revenge Cheating Justified?

Everyone has been at a get together one time or another with a bunch of friends. It’s a good time, everyone is drinking, laughing, dancing and having a good time until………Someone throws out a question and chaos ensues immediately! Opinions are being thrown around the room, everyone is yelling over everyone else to get their point across and it’s a complete mess. Nonetheless, it’s always interesting to hear the differences of opinion, especially when it comes to men versus women. In a nutshell, that’s how the panel was inspired.

The Panel is a series with a mix of men and women, ages 21-35. Every week 1 to 2 questions are thrown at the panel for their input and their answers are documented and posted.

Some of the questions have been submitted, while others are chosen at random.

Feel free to provide your own insight and even comment on the answers.

Round 1: Is Revenge Cheating Justified? Submitted by “99 Problems”

 

“Mr. Always Right”

Is revenge cheating justified..sure. Though I don’t think I’d recommend it because it’s not going to solve the problem of why the person cheated to begin with. If I was cheated on I’d like to think I’d (1) decide whether or not this person is worth trying fix things with and if so then (2) deal with the issue and move forward. I mean I know it’s an eye for an eye out here but “an eye for an eye we both lose our sight” and two wrongs won’t make that shit right. Revenge cheating feels a little on the immature side to me. But there are a lot of immature relationships out here so, there you go.

 

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“The Wild One”

REVENGE cheating is never justifiable.  Two wrongs don’t make a right. There’s too many people on that tit for tat shit – it’s horrible.  There’s too many females fucking out of spite and hurt. They run back to old flings and old boyfriends out of comfort only to look like fools. Males do the same but are only affected if they really love their woman. Fuck Cheating Be Faithful

 

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“The Free Spirit”

As a cheater turned monogomist (whatever that means), I no longer see the point in cheating. (I know, i’m probably BSing because i’m all in love now, but fuck it) As for being justified, if someone cheats on you and you agree to stay to with them, then you’re agreeing to accept whatever mistake he/she made in the past. I can understand why someone would be hurt, but if that’s the case, you should probably talk about those issues with your spouse. Find out why they cheated and if the relationship is repairable. Stepping out of the relationship will add no value to your life and you end up hurt walking around with your head down and a wet ass.

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“Unbothered & Unfiltered”

I personally wouldn’t revenge cheat because I see no point. I’m just going to drop your ass, but I can understand why someone would. My thing is if your going to revenge cheat you have to go bigger then your partner. If he stepped out on you with some random girl, fuck his brother.

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“The Bachelor”

In my opinion if a relationship has escalated to the point where one is cheating the other then it becomes a battle of who walks away with power. So revenge cheating is one of the various ways to gain the upper hand over your significant other if you find he or she is cheating.

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“The Flower Child”

Revenge cheating is unjustifiable. I’ve never been one to tit for tat, especially when it comes to hurting someone else. Being cheated on sucks. Its painful and it often unearths a lot of insecurities and emotions you weren’t even aware existed. I’ve always felt the energy you put out is the energy you receive. The hurt that has been inflicted upon you does not justify you projecting those feelings onto someone else- especially for the purpose of making a point or reciprocating against a wrong.   Ultimately, you’re prolonging your misery and surrounding yourself with polluted energy. Let it fall to the wayside! As difficult as it can be, let the cheater go! I’m not saying you can’t make a grand exit with a shower of F-bombs and choice words, but don’t retaliate and definitely don’t involve an innocent third party. It’s hard enough to deal with a betrayal, don’t allow your good conscience to be clouded by someone else’s deceit.

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“The Sour Patch”

No, because if you want to maintain a serious relationship you must learn to forgive and move on. If you keep competing or using that as an excuse in the relationship  to do some shitty stuff then it wouldn’t last. Now if you plan to end the relationship, then by all means be single! People forget you can just be single, no cheating is not involved in that… I know right the surprise!!! If you want your relationship to grow, and get better you both must put in 100%.

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Want to submit a question to The Panel? Comment below. It can be anything from a topic, to a real-life situation you’re going to and just want several opinions on. If you would like to keep it anonymous, fill out the form here and submit it.