the single life | i am couture

Based on my conversations with friends lately and my own pathetic dating life, I decided to comprise a list of 25 reasons why the dating world has gone to sh*t. Granted, most of these are from my own experiences, so they are from a woman’s perspective – ~~sorry boys!~~

They’re also my opinion, so I wouldn’t recommend taking anything personal. Unless it applies to you, in which case, you should take it COMPLETELY personal.

Anyway, Enjoy!

1. No one “catches feelings”anymore

……until they catch feelings

2. Shower them with attention – they’re annoyed. Pay them no attention – they’re waiting by the phone like:

3. All of a sudden, 80% of guys are home-bodies who “don’t really go out much” and would rather you “come over and watch a movie”

4. You have to make them your #MCM/#WCW so they know it’s real -Submitted by Beatrice

5. Online dating has become a cesspool where 70% of people are either socially awkward, sexually frustrated or just really fucking unattractive.

6. It’s also where people feel entirely too comfortable expressing their “unique” interests

7. The people that think they “aren’t ready for anything serious” are the same ones telling you they love you after a month and how “this never happens to me”

8. People have unrealistic expectations but justify it as “not settling”

9. People who just want to hook up, want to hook up until they’ve hooked up. But not long after will ask you”where is this going?”

10. Everyone says “i’m not the jealous type”…….until they’re the jealous type

11. Every woman is “independent” and “doesn’t need a man”

12. “Age ain’t nothin’ but a number” until it’s time for a 20 year old to have a conversation with a 40 year old about their goals in life

13. Guys want a woman that cooks, cleans and does his laundry without question but when it comes time to pay for a date, will scream “equality”, “partnership”, “teamwork”

14. You do everything that couples do but won’t throw a title on it so you can always use “but we’re not together though” as an excuse to get a case of the “fuck-arounds”

15. No one wants to admit that they have no idea what they want

16. Single friends get together and give their other single friends relationship advice

17. Social media allows you to get to know multiple people at the same time which prevents you from truly getting to know one person because you have to remember what 8 other people’s favorite colors are and pretend to care about what they all like to do for fun

18. Instead of talking things out, you get subtweeted

19. Some single people can’t help but let everyone know they’re single. How many times have you seen this?

Or this

20. This happens…..

21. Too many conversations go like this:

Them:”Hi. I think you’re beautiful and I would love to get to know you.”

You:”Hey, that’s sweet, thank you. How are you?”

Them:”I’m good”

You:”How is your day going?”

Them:”It was cool”

You:”Tell me about yourself”

Them:”What do you want to know?”

22. A guy will ask you on a date, plan it, the whole nine. Then hit you with “Oh, by the way! Something happened to my car last week and i’m in the process of getting a new one” i.e. he doesn’t drive